How Much Hypervigilance is Actually Needed?
This week in our Rare Mothers in Relationships Group we looked at evolution. We asked the questions: What is your growing edge? How do you support this? How does your own evolution impact your family?
Evolution means growing into the best version of yourself. Ask yourself, how can you be more conscious and self-aware? Slow down and notice yourself and your reactive habit patterns.
A Golden Rule
One of the golden rules that I intend to practice is: “Communicate only when you are calm. Listen before you speak.”
Hypervigilance
In our conversation this week, the concept of hypervigilance came up. As a Rare mother you see life through the lens of your Rare child and likely analyze everything and how it will impact them. Being in a state of constant hypervigilance is exhausting. One Rare mother said she was stuck in problem-solving and couldn’t enjoy her life.
The possibility is to be “on the job” of caring for your Rare child and rooted in yourself. There is a practice of having one eye in and one eye out that can be very useful. Keep track of what is happening with your Rare child and stay connected to your needs. If this sounds daunting, trust that you can learn to do it with practice.
Mindfulness
Bring mindful awareness and notice that you are being hypervigilant.
Trust Yourself
As a Rare mother you have to learn to trust your inner knowing more than what the doctor says and do not allow yourself to be dismissed because of your hypervigilance or what may be perceived as hypochondria.
What does it mean to be in “right relationship” to hypervigilance? Take some time to discover this for yourself.
Make room to notice what is needed and rest into the space inside. What if you could relax enough to default to being rather than doing. This is an evolutionary edge.
Join Us for a Closing Session of Rare Mothers in Relationships
We will harvest the gems of our time together and share what we’ve learned. It will be a rich session. Please come if you’ve been in the group or if it’s your first time. Everyone is welcome. Bring your open heart and be received in this wonderful community!
Our next meeting is Tuesday at 10 AM PST. We would love to have you there. Being together in a safe and held space is an opportunity for you to share your heart and make authentic connections with other Rare mothers.
Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.
Change Is Coming: Rare Family Dynamics -- Starts on July 1st
For those of you who are not in a primary relationship and are in a Rare family, I wanted to announce that beginning in July the group will focus on Rare Family Dynamics. We will explore the different kinds of relational dynamics you have in your Rare family starting with the relationship you have with yourself, your Rare child, your neurotypical child and the members of your care team.
Zoom Link:
We look forward to being with you soon.
With blessings to you and your Rare family,
Padma
