This is Your Boat

Our Rare mothers in Relationships Group keeps getting deeper and it is transforming as we move into the next phase of the group. 

Change Is Coming: Rare Family Dynamics -- Starts on June 29th

For those of you who are not in a primary relationship and are in a Rare family, I wanted to announce that beginning in two weeks the group will focus on Rare Family Dynamics. We will explore the different kinds of relational dynamics you have in your Rare family starting with the relationship you have with yourself, your Rare child, your neurotypical child and the various members of your care team.

Accepting Yourself Is the First Step

This week's meeting was focused on acceptance which begins with you accepting yourself. We asked the question: What is easy to accept about yourself and your life and what is it that you find most challenging?

When you practice self-acceptance, you are more likely to be accepting of others including your Rare child. Accepting your Rare child is an ongoing process that happens from day to day. It also involves letting go of your ideas of what you thought your family would look like.

Surrender Your Ideas

Maybe you had imagined you would have two children who would be as close as you were with your siblings growing up. You are invited to accept that one of your children is nonverbal and the other has high verbal skills. Their communication will be different. How can you tend and befriend the realities of your life?

Early on in the journey of a Rare mother, you are learning to accept that you are a Rare mother. Every day invites a new choice to say, “Yes, I am a Rare mother.” Some days this can be easy and on other days that can be more of a struggle.

Acceptance happens in the present.

It’s as if you are on a boat and it’s important to trust that you are on the boat that you are supposed to be on even though it may look different than the boat you had once dreamt you would travel on with your family.

Accept your emotions

The territory of emotions is ever-changing and in some moments you may feel guilty, sad or angry. Can you be generous with yourself and accept the emotion that is arising? Take a moment, breathe and feel what is here.Emotions are transient and you can trust that they will transform more quickly when you turn toward them and allow yourself to experience what is.

Kicking and screaming

Sometimes acceptance doesn’t come easily and you may even have to drag yourself kicking and screaming to the doorstep of acceptance. Make room to feel your anger and remind yourself a zillion times a day (if that’s what it takes) to be here in the present moment. It is wise to refrain from comparing your Rare child to other children and stop yourself from becoming bitter or resentful. This process takes a lot of awareness so practice self-compassion.

Coming Up This Week: Evolution

What does it mean to be evolutionary allies on the path of loving in a relationship? In this last session of the series, we will talk about how your relationship can catalyze personal and interpersonal evolution.

Join Us

Our next meeting is Tuesday at 10 AM PST. We would love to have you there. Being together in a safe and held space is an opportunity for you to share your heart and make authentic connections with other Rare mothers. 

Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.

Zoom Link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89479806881?pwd=NkdlU1dDVVRQYTcxem9MaVlQRG95Zz09

We look forward to being with you soon.

Warmly,

Padma