For my mother and Rare Mothers™ Around the World
In honor of my mother on Mother’s Day, thank you for your strength, courage and kindness.
It Mother’s Day and I awoke to the sweet smell of a lavender latte and an eloquent, heartfelt note from my daughter Chloe (15). We met my parents, Richard and Phyllis, at Little Church by the Sea and then spent a quiet day as a family, playing cards and enjoying each other’s company.
As I looked across the round wooden table, I noticed my mother’s white blonde hair, her wrinkled hands clutching the cards, her keen eyes darting around the table with calculated determination … and I just have to share what hit my heart.
My mother is the rarest of all mothers.
Truly. Phyllis Barrett Reusche is the original Rare Mother™. And yes, please do notice the trademark as she is my mother, but this quiet woman has sparked a movement.
It all started with the interrupted dreams of her 19-year-old self. One semester at BYU and Phyllis’ life took a detour toward marriage, motherhood and a cycle of hope and grief.
Five of my mother’s children - three sons (and three of my four older brothers) - passed away from a rare disease known as Hunter Syndrome (Mucopolysaccharidosis for our technical readers). They were 12, 18 and 19 years when they passed. My mom’s ‘Rare Caregivers Journey’ was unimaginable. For all of us.
She survived by exercising just about every emotional and physical outlet for expression experienced by a human being. (Let’s just leave it at that.)But one survivorship tactic stood out the most: she never lost herself.
Once a month, like clockwork, my mother would leave us. One night away at an Embassy Suites and she would return to us renewed, refreshed and ready to care for us again.
I would ask, “What did you do, mama, while you were away?” Sometimes she would share. She would show me what she had written. Her journals of a life so rare, no one could imagine. Written on napkins, backs of envelopes, scribbled on receipts, filling page after page of notebooks.
Many of you know my mother personally, Phyllis Barrett Reusche. Since the day we formed ANGEL AID she has bought the first ticket, registered for the first Retreat, joined the first ZOOM. She has shown up for herself and for Rare Mothers™ everywhere because she believes in improving the human condition. She believes in the power of the human spirit. She believes there is holiness in us all.
My mother is an introvert - ‘showing up’ for anything comes at great personal sacrifice - but she cares deeply about others and places their hearts always above any personal discomfort.
My mother Phyllis is a unique, inspiring woman. She leads by quiet example. She has documented a lifetime of thoughts about what it means to be a Rare Mother™. Those reflections are like manifestos. A bill of rights.
As I sat playing cards with our family, some deep truths resonated, really reverberated into my heart and mind.
So in Phyllis’ honor….and based on the thousands of conversations we have hosted through our weekly support groups, transformative retreats, workshops and our online community…I present to you the Rare Mothers™ Manifesto.
If this resonates with you, please share it with others. If you have suggestions, or want to tell us your personal statement, please share with us – on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or by email at info@angelaidcares.org.
Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin
