Choose to Laugh
Humor serves in relationships in many ways. A well-placed joke can lighten the mood in the midst of a challenging moment with your Rare child. Humor has the amazing quality of being able to break up what is happening and catalyze a shift. Humor is magical in its' transformative nature.
We explored the role of humor in Rare families during our Rare Mothers in Relationship Support Group this past week. It was a joy to have another new member join our group, especially since she was raised in a family where humor flowed freely. We cracked up at some of her stories. Laughing together is incredibly bonding.
Laugh at Yourself
When we are able to laugh at ourselves and at the ridiculously obscene challenges that life presents us with, we open up to freedom. Being caught in a trance of catastrophic thinking or having the feeling that you made an irrevocable mistake, is simply not helpful, yet we all do it at times until we learn how to make a different choice.
Laugh at so-called mistakes
In a moment where you might choose to berate yourself for something you did or didn’t do, you might also choose to laugh at yourself and acknowledge your essential humanity. Being human means you will make mistakes because mistakes are how you learn.
Being at Choice
When you are pushed to your limits as most Rare mothers often are, you can interrupt your negative thinking, pause and recognize that you have agency over your thoughts and actions as soon as you become aware of them. This is where having a meditation or prayer practice, or any type of quiet discipline is essential. Sitting in silence allows you to notice things. Your noticing is powerful.
Online or Offline
When you are in a panic, you are likely in fight, flight, or freeze mode. When you are experiencing a nervous system state of arousal, your ability to respond with clarity is hijacked. If you are able to slow down, look at the situation from a bird's eye view and laugh, it can bring you back into the present time reality. Humor ushers you into the present where you can discern what is needed. From here your ability to respond effectively increases.
Laugh or Cry
Several of our Rare mothers reported that they encounter situations almost daily where they can choose to either laugh or cry. Laughter opens the heart. It supports you to think clearly and lifts you out of your habitual thought patterns. Naturally, there are times when you just need a good cry. It’s important to embrace your feelings as they arise.
Being Silly
The practice of being silly frees up a lot of energy. Perhaps as an experiment you can intentionally be silly. Give yourself permission to goof around with your Rare child and other members of your family. If your Rare child is nonverbal, this does not mean that they don’t appreciate some down home goofiness. Laughter can be a bridge that opens up avenues for new connections in the nonverbal realm. Laugh a lot. Laugh often and definitely laugh out loud.
Coming Up This Week: Unconditional Acceptance
Learning to accept yourself is key to accepting others. Mutual acceptance creates safety and softness in relationships. As a Rare Mother, you have had a lot of practice accepting things that you cannot change or are not as you would like them to be. This will be a rich conversation.
Join us
Our next meeting is Tuesday at 10 AM PST. We would love to have you there. Being together in a safe and held space is an opportunity for you to share your heart and make authentic connections with other Rare mothers.
Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.
Zoom Link:
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89479806881?pwd=NkdlU1dDVVRQYTcxem9MaVlQRG95Zz09
We look forward to being with you soon.
Warmly,
Padma
