The Places We Go: Wholeness

There are many ways we can feel in our lives… And something we often think about, if not strive for is wholeness. Something that is “whole” is complete, with all its interrelated parts working together as designed. Opposites of “whole” are words such as: incomplete, impaired, and unhealthy. But, when we are not operating as a whole person, the way we feel is best described as “broken.”

Working to become a whole person involves utilizing our heart, our soul, our mind, and our strength. These elements are meant to operate in an integrated and holistic manner making the whole greater than the sum of its parts. But, when one, or more, of those areas is impaired, all we may feel is brokenness.

So, wholeness can feel a lot like harmony, unity, oneness. Most people are seeking to experience this feeling of wholeness in one way, shape, or form. They might not be aware that this is what they’re yearning for though. Others might desire it and actively be seeking it, but maybe they don’t feel they deserve to feel it. Or maybe they think they’ve got to do a hundred calisthenics to find it. But a commonality in society is that many people want an instant fix and instant gratification.

However, the healing path toward joy does require some inner work, for sure.

I might be beneficial for us to define what wholeness is. A large part of that is the feeling sensation of it. To feel whole. To feel good. Worthy. To feel connected with yourself, others, the world, and beyond, however you define that. To be whole is to NOT be split apart. It’s the feeling of fulfillment, harmony, and completion.

Some say it’s because of our minds; our racing thoughts that bring us down. Others say it’s because we walk more in our carnal nature, not realizing just how divine we really are.

And other’s may say it’s because we’re stuck in chronic survival mode (fight, flight, freeze or fawn) responses.

This “mind” can be one thing that trips us up. It can keep us from recognizing and experiencing this feeling of wholeness. This feeling of being intimately connected. We have to understand that the mind, or ego, isn’t a horrible thing. It allows us to do so many great things. We can create, learn, visualize, and plan with our minds, and this feels good!

However, the mind can also be full of thoughts that generate negative emotions, past memories that haunt us, faulty belief patterns, and strange ideas about life. In other words, it’s not always a reliable source of truth. It can skew the truth and cause us to feel as if we are the negative emotions or the disconnection or the faulty thoughts… rather than who we REALLY are.

We can spend our lives “hiding in our minds”, cutoff from our body or emotions. Not wanting to feel because it starts associating feeling with painful emotions that we had as a child.

To clarify, we are not our thoughts or beliefs. We think and we have beliefs, but they do not define us. They are separate from our true self, our innate wholeness. But this is the piece that causes us to doubt or feel separate from… so acceptance of this is the first step to being whole. This is practicing self-love. And this relationship is the longest and most intimate one you will ever have. Your emotional wellbeing is the core and the foundation of self-love.