The Art of Receiving
Padma Gordon
Taking time to turn your attention inside is crucial and perhaps even more so for you as a Rare mother. Rare mothers are used to serving which is the opposite of receiving. Receiving is a muscle and like any muscle you are training, it needs to be exercised. Taking time to walk strengthens your lungs and legs. How about toning your receiving muscle? It is a great practice to take time for yourself and even just a few minutes here and there makes a huge difference. Besides, you are worth it!
In our Spiritual Self-Care Group, we continue to dive into the idea of RECEIVING and last week we explored questions like:
What gets in the way of my receiving as a Rare mother? What supports me to receive?
Some of what arose for the Rare mothers was:
* I’m so much more comfortable serving others.
* I like seeing people happy.
* It’s hard for me to receive praise.
* My faith supports me to serve.
* When I serve I feel safe.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
As you can see, it seems easier to give than receive and it’s natural for resistance to arise to things that are new. Growth is uncomfortable. I didn’t make it up, it’s one of the Laws of the Universe.
How about opening to this perspective? Receiving is a gift to others. You are in fact giving by receiving. Science tells us that we get a dopamine hit when we give to others. The gift is in the giving and if someone gives you a gift and you reject it, they miss out on feeling good.
One Rare mother said it this way, “Being cared for means allowing others to know that you have needs. And, when I let my daughter take care of me, it makes her feel happy.” When you do everything, it doesn’t leave room for others to take care of you. Making room for others to give is an act of generosity.
Make Room
I invite you to make time for yourself and open up and receive the gift of your own attention and the gifts that are waiting for you that others want to give. It’s true that when you slow down to receive you may find that it’s messy under the surface and you will find that you are not “perfect” which can be a tremendous relief!
It’s tricky to take time for yourself when you have so much on your plate and are caring for your child and family. Receiving is two-fold. Receiving your own attention and receiving others’ attention.
You can cultivate these muscles when you make time to practice. Here are a couple of ways to practice receiving your own attention:
Hand on Heart Practice: Set a timer to go off 3 times per day. When it does pause for 8 breaths, place your hand on your heart. Receive the feeling of your own hand on your heart. Notice if it’s warm or cool. Does it feel heavy? Do any emotions arise? If so, notice them and feel. Maybe you can set a goal to do this for 3 days in a row? Try it and see what changes. I’d love to hear from you.
How much is enough? It only takes a few minutes to “break state.” You can receive yourself by stepping outside for just 2 minutes, breathing some fresh air, looking up at the sky and listening to the birds.
To practice receiving from others try this:
Ask for help: Ask for help with small or large tasks 2 times each day. Yes, it is often easier to “just do it yourself” and when you ask, you give your partner, husband or child a chance to support you. Remember that this is a blessing for them. This will actually improve their mood! It means that you surrender to having it done your way and accept that the way they do it is good enough. See what happens when you set a clear intention to ask for help twice each day. The vibe in your household will shift and you will have more space for yourself. Allowing others to help you is a gift coming and going.
Please come and join us each Tuesday morning at 10am PST. Come as you ARE. You can turn your camera on or leave it off. You are welcome to come for the whole session or a part of it. It’s a chance for you to take time for yourself and meet other Rare mothers who totally “get” what your life is like. We hope to see you there.
With blessings,
Padma
