Heartbreak
Padma Gordon
This past week in our Spiritual Self-Care Workshop we contemplated heartbreak. We began with a passage by David Whyte from his wonderful book, “Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.” I will share a bit of it here:
“HEARTBREAK
is unpreventable; the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control, of holding in our affections those who inevitably move beyond our line of sight.
Heartbreak begins the moment we are asked to let go but cannot, in other words, it colors and inhabits and magnifies each and every day: heartbreak is not a visitation but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life. Heartbreak is an indication of our sincerity…”
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Heartbreak is something that comes with being human because no matter what, we will love and we will lose people we love. For Rare mothers this is even more self-evident.
Often, we think about heartbreak as being a kind of a shattering experience. In our workshop, we explored how heartbreak is an active surrender. It is an opportunity to allow our feelings to move and to tell ourselves “my feelings make sense.“
What if when you allow your heart to break you realize that it is also softening and expanding? As the heart breaks, it is working to let go. Letting go of any expectation, or habit, or goal means we expand. With a Rare child, this means updating to what they need. Rare mothers walk the path of heartbreak.
Allowing your heart to break and expand will increase your capacity for empathy and compassion.
Many times you may find yourself trying to avoid the heartbreak that you are experiencing and trying to “keep it together“ is exhausting.
Here is a practice to help you allow your heart to surrender:
Set alarms on your phone to go off three times a day. When the alarm goes off, set a timer for one minute. This is your time to actively surrender to whatever you are feeling. By doing this, the heart expands its capacity to be with fear, disappointment, frustration, pain and profound sadness. When you feel, these will gently dissolve. You are invited to try this practice out and see how it grows your ability to surrender.
With blessings,
Padma
