Choosing to Love Yourself

Padma Gordon

Do you feel guilty for taking care of yourself? Do you give yourself a hard time when you make mistakes? What would it be like to give yourself permission to be kind and loving with yourself? Loving yourself means you take care of yourself in little ways.

In our spiritual self-care workshop this week we explored the question, “What does it give you to take care of yourself?“

When you take care of yourself in your role as a Rare mother, you will feel whole and have a greater sense of peace. This expands you capacity to take care of your child and your family.

It can be hard as a Rare mother to take the time and space that you need to receive yourself without judging or questioning your worth as a human being.

Taking the time to care for yourself on the deeper levels will support you to connect to a space of being rather than doing. There are many things to do and one of our responsibilities as a human being is to learn how to slow down enough to recognize our inherent value. When you do this, more and more of who you are will be revealed.

Tend To Yourself

Are you willing to give yourself permission to tend to yourself?

One of our wise elder Rare mothers talked about the value of tending to herself when she said, “the more I tend to myself, the better I get at it.” Eventually it takes less time to recover from moments of feeling guilty or badly about something you have done or apparently not done well enough.

Guilt is tricky because it gives you a false sense of control. You might be thinking something like, “I can change this if I do something different.” What if you can’t? The unknown is terrifying. And there are so many unknowns that you face every day as you care for your child.

Spiritual self-care is a Necessity

Here are some simple things that you can do to tend to yourself:

Turn your attention toward what is working. Refrain from looking for all the ways that you have fallen short, could have, should have, or might have done things differently. It takes practice to notice what is working.

Tell yourself: “my feelings make sense.“ Your feelings do make sense. Why? Because you are having them. When you make room for your own feelings and allow yourself to have your experience, you can offer this to others. Offering this level of kindness to yourself is a contribution to your family and the world.

If you are having a moment of upset or anger, do a conscious rant. This means that you take yourself to somewhere where you can be alone. I suggest doing this outdoors under a big shady tree. Set your timer for 3 to 5 minutes depending on how upset you are. The idea is that the timer will contain the amount of time that you were allowed to rant. Instead of getting lost in your thoughts for hours or even days, you can move the energy and feel your feelings in just a few minutes. Let your body join in and if you want to shake your fists or jump up and down, feel free. When the timer goes off, pause and close your eyes. Feel the aliveness moving through you. Take some deep breaths

Join Us

Come and join us. Give yourself a chance to be seen and heard by other Rare mothers who "get" you. It is a chance to be reminded that you are not alone at sea. We meet every Tuesday morning at 10 AM Pacific Time.

Use this link to join.

I hope to see you there. If you have any trouble signing on, please reach out to Paige. She is here to support you too.

With blessings,

Padma