Are You Willing To Receive Help?
Padma Gordon
As a Rare Mother you need help, yet at times you may push it away because you’re wanting a specific kind of help and you’re not sure that someone can give it to you. Or perhaps you may be finding it hard to recognize when help is being offered. It is possible that you may have a particular idea of how it should look.
This past week in our Rare Mothers in Relationships Workshop, we explored how to receive help and looked at what it is that gets in the way of receiving it.
One of the biggest obstacles was the infamous “should.” Sometimes it is called “shouldding” on yourself. This means that you have an idea that you should be able to do everything on your own or you’re not a good parent. Oftentimes, should may mean that judgment and shame are lying in wait.
Limiting Beliefs
These kinds of self-critical thoughts are draining and extremely limiting. Sometimes they’re called limiting beliefs. We explored a technique from NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming called reframing. For instance, when you have a thought like, “I should be able to do it all by myself.” You might consider reframing it by saying “Actually I am a great parent and it takes a village to raise a Rare child.“
The Reframe
Reframes help you to be gentle with yourself. If you notice that you are blocking help, I invite you to soften to yourself. We will work on this together in our next meeting.
What helps you to receive your partner?
The question of receiving your partner and acknowledging them and their needs came up as well. Some of the great suggestions on how to receive your partner’s help and to tend to your relationship were:
Give each other time to do what makes you happy
Listen attentively (This is key to receiving.)
Plan to spend time together as a couple
Be affectionate and touch one another with care
Gratitude
Gratitude is the theme for our next meeting which is tomorrow, Tuesday, September 28 at 10am PST. Gratitude is a magical salve for relationships. Come and learn how to practice gratitude with yourself and in your relationship. We will discuss how being grateful and expressing your appreciation changes the terrain of your relationship. If you want a bountiful garden, appreciation is the best compost.
Register to join here.
