Acceptance of What Is
This week in our Rare Mothers in Relationships Workshop we had a conversation about acceptance that was both incredibly heart-opening and heart-wrenching. The depths to which we go as a community is profound. I am honored by the degree of vulnerability with which we are sharing and the safety that we have created. Being in a group of Rare mothers who understand what you are going through has immeasurable value.
As a Rare mother you are familiar with the daily necessity of accepting your child’s Rare disease and its ongoing progression.
The truth is that you can only navigate one day at a time by feeling your feelings and embracing any resistance to what is. This is the first step in coming to terms with the reality of your Rare child’s situation.
You have a choice to either arm wrestle reality which is incredibly draining or accept what is here now and respond.
Offer Gold
One of our Rare mothers brought in the Japanese concept of Kintsugi, "joining with gold" in which they repair broken pottery with gold to symbolize embracing human flaws. The gold symbolizes the effort you put into repairing the broken vision (flaws) of what you thought your life would look like and how it’s not what you had wanted or expected.
The question is, how do you process your feelings around this and arrive in a state of acceptance?
This is what our group came up with:
Create a sacred space in your home that is just for you
Take breaks and go away to a hotel every few weeks for one night.
Take walks every day
Meditate/pray each day
Journal regularly
Feel It All
Doing these things gives you the space to feel the unfairness, sadness, disappointment and grief so that you can gently move into acceptance of what is.
The opportunity is to transform your feelings as you lean into life‘s chaos and embrace the things that you did not choose. Perhaps you can softly let go and see the gold in the broken things.
Recognize that you cannot control things and that trying to control them creates suffering. Breathe deeply and keep the faith as you live each day knowing that everything changes and it will continue to change.
All you have is your response to what shows up.
Coming up this week: How to Have an Evolutionary Relationship
What does it mean to be evolutionary allies on the path of loving in a relationship? In this last session of the series, we will discuss how your relationships can catalyze personal and interpersonal evolution. How can you support each other on your journey as Rare parents? There are many ways that you can encourage growth with kindness. Come share how you have grown in your relationship and where you feel stuck.
Join us
Our next meeting is Tuesday at 10 AM PST. We would love to have you there. Being together in this way is an opportunity for you to share your heart and have authentic connections with other Rare mothers who know what your life is like and understand you.
Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.
Zoom Link:
We look forward to being with you soon.
Warmly,
Padma
