A Blanket of Acceptance
Accepting what is is a matter of the heart and as a Raregiver™ you walk in the world with a tender heart.
We explored the topic of acceptance in our Rare Family Dynamics session this week.
We inquired as to what supports you opening to and accepting what is. We also asked, “What hinders you and keeps your heart closed?”
Calming a Busy Mind
Sometimes a busy mind and a swirl of thoughts can get in the way of opening and accepting. You might find yourself getting lost in all of the things on your list and wondering how you will get them done. Honestly, you will not. No one does.
2 Practices for you
When thoughts begin to swirl, and you are pulled in many directions at once, you might imagine gathering your thoughts like you would tomatoes from the garden. Set them on a blanket, twist them up, and carry them like a satchel on your shoulder. Becoming calm allows you to focus on what is essential.
Another option is to take your thoughts and blow them with a straw into a dialog bubble, and once it is full, you can release the bubble, and it will float up into the air, taking the thoughts up and away.
An offering of the heart
Acceptance is a heart-based practice. If you are feeling resentful or stressed about your Rare child's condition, you can offer the stress to your heart and it will receive it. At times it may even feel like you are being wrapped in a warm blanket.
Timing
There's no rush to arrive at acceptance. The important thing is to honor your own timing. You may not be ready to release your anger at the system, the lack of services, the judgments of others, the world….
You might have experienced a really hard appointment with a doctor and emerged with a bucket full of things to accept. It's important to take the time to grieve and anger is one of the stages of grief. Remember, grief isn't linear and acceptance isn't “one and done.” Healing takes feeling. It’s a process.
Beware of Spiritual Bypassing
If you rush to gratitude and acceptance, and skip over your feelings, you may be doing a “spiritual bypass.” This is not recommended because the feelings, although shoved to the side or escaped from temporarily, are not gone. It's essential to take your time and feel otherwise the feelings will come back to haunt you.
Coming Up Next Week -- Shifting Responsibilities: The Mechanics of Boundary Setting
Parenting your rare child means navigating a host of dynamics with your extended family. Oftentimes, your mother or sister will not understand the nature of your child’s disease or what it’s like for you to live as a rare caregiver. Misunderstanding may run rampant along with denial that there even is a medical issue with your child. You may also discover that you compare your Rare child to your nieces and nephews when you see photos of these neurotypical children hitting milestones that your rare child may not hit. Please come and share your experience with other Rare caregivers who know what it’s like to walk in your shoes.
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We look forward to being with you soon.
