You Gotta Have Faith
Padma Gordon
The truth is that without Faith life is harder. Moving forward without Faith requires a lot of muscling through, especially for Rare Mothers. Our Faith Group last Tuesday was powerful and we talked about how Rare Mothers need each other’s companionship and how having these relationships bolster one’s faith. Faith is key and it’s very helpful to collectively recognize what it takes to manage a child or children with a rare disease.
One Rare Mother spoke about how she struggles with thinking about how much more she “should be doing” and we called this the habit of “shoulding.” Shoulding allows the inner critic to go wild and leaves you feeling bad about yourself rather than uplifted or encouraged. Giving yourself grief is exhausting. It makes a lot of sense to choose to love yourself and think building thoughts that leave you feeling good, yes?
We came up with practical strategies for interrupting this negative habit and one of them was to reframe. This is a great tool! For instance, instead of saying, “I should be taking better care of my child and tending to my husband with more love and care,” you might say, “I’m doing as much as I can to take care of my child and my husband and it is enough. In fact, I’m a pretty awesome Rare Mother and wife.”
There are so many things that Rare Mothers need to do each day and it can be hard to juggle between what is urgent and what is super urgent because each thing appears to fall into the super urgent category. The key here is to slow way down. Pause, breathe and ask yourself to focus on what you are already doing, what are you tending to and what in reality is super urgent. Bringing mindful awareness to what you are doing fills you up and you can more clearly see what is needed in any moment.
We talked about how faith sustains you in your daily life. One Rare Mother said, “My faith supports me to love my family and to acknowledge myself.” She also said that this is the first time in 23 years that she is taking time to recognize herself and take care of herself and how incredibly important this is. Being in the Faith Group and participating in other aspects of the Angel Aid support offerings has helped her so much. Spending time with other Rare Mothers has been crucial because, “It’s so important to be around other people who get me. It’s amazing to have a chance to step forward and be seen.”
In a safe and sacred space, we join together each week to focus on Faith, to turn toward what nourishes and guides us and to connect deeply with other Rare Mothers. This is an opportunity to be seen and heard by others who can totally relate to you. Please join us for our last Faith Group of the year, Tuesday Dec. 29 at 10am PST. We would love to have you. Your presence is the offering. There are no expectations and you are welcome to turn your video on or leave it off. This is a place for you to be supported. I hope to see you there.
With Holiday Blessings,
Padma
