Staying Connected to the Light
How do you stay connected to the light when moments of anxiety, fear, anger and despair arise?
Padma Gordon
How do you stay connected to the light when moments of anxiety, fear, anger and despair arise? We explored this question in our Spiritual Self-Care Support Group this past week. Connecting with your Higher Power and engaging with other Rare Mothers were two of the big ones. One group member shared, "For 20 years I felt lonely inside. Connecting with God and with other Rare Mothers fills that space and gives me the strength to move ahead."
It can be hard as a Rare Mother to find time to stop and create a silent space for meditation, yoga or prayer. When you do, you feed the relationship with the light that lives in you. Spiritual self-care means taking time to do things that make you feel happy. Carving out space to do what you love along with the things you do for your child and family. When you do things for yourself, you fill up your coffers and then, when you have a particularly rough day, you have resources to draw from. Taking care of yourself means that you will be less likely to snap at someone or become frustrated with yourself when you forget things or make the inevitable mistakes that come with the territory of being human.
When you are "running on fumes," the Inner Critic tends to rear its head and you might fall into the nasty habit of "should-ing" yourself. We all do this sometimes but being hard on ourselves doesn't improve things. Imagine if you could garner all of the energy of frustration, disappointment, sadness or whatever emotion is arising and rather than use it to beat yourself up, you use it to effectively respond to the situation at hand. For example, instead of running the old tape of, "I should know better by now, I'm so..." over and over, you catch yourself, interrupt the cycle of self-criticism and pause?
Here is a practice to support you:
Step 1: Notice and Identify
Begin by noticing how the negative feelings show up. What are the thoughts that accompany them? What are the physical sensations? Once you shine the light of awareness on HOW a negative feeling arises, it's like you've shined a flashlight into a corner and the dust bunnies become obvious.
Step 2: Pause
Give yourself the firm yet kind direction to pause. Restrict yourself from going down any I should have thought pathways. Breathe deeply and be kind and gentle with yourself on purpose. Allow your breath to support you.
Step 3: Feel
The last step of the practice is to feel. Place all 10 finger tips together and press. You want to be able to sense some pressure and while maintaining this position. Giving yourself a physical structure roots your attention in the present. By focusing your attention on your finger tips, you create a container in which to digest your feelings.
Stay with this for 3-5 minutes or as long as it takes to settle down. The goal is to move your energy, return to your inner light source and move with clarity. Try it for yourself. I'd love to hear how it goes.
You are invited to join us for the Spiritual Self-Care Support Group on Tuesday mornings at 10am PDT. Come as you ARE. You can turn your camera on or leave it off. You are welcome to come for the whole session or a part of it. It’s a chance for you to take time for yourself, meet other Rare Mothers who totally “get” your reality and expand your repertoire of self-care practices. We look forward to seeing you there.
With blessings,
Padma
