Self-Soothing

Self-Soothing is something many of us think about that we can teach to our children… but how often do we think about how we do this for ourselves? This past Thursday we talked about it with our mamas and the responses we all over the board. We had everything from walking in nature to pacing while meditating, from rocking in our chairs to weighted eye masks... and more.

Regardless of the activity, it always involved our senses! Using our five senses allows us to connect in with our bodies and potentially reach a greater state of relaxation and peace. When we feel we are in any state of emotional distress, it helps us if we can begin to relax… and engaging in an activity that gets us to be more attuned to any one (or more) of our senses, gives us this gift!

The first step is to recognize where your comfort lies… does a good meal settle you? Or perhaps it’s getting to look at beautiful art or nature… maybe is it the softness of your favorite blanket! We all have a dominant sense that really starts the calming process. Noting the possibilities when you are more regulated, than stressed, allows you to have a small list to refer to when you feel overwhelmed.

Here are some examples you can use, or you can make up your own!

Sense of Sight

Go to nature (it can be a park nearby) and look at the beautiful way how the sky, the trees, the grass, the benches and the people make a collage of colors and life. 

Find pictures on the Internet of places that you find soothing to look at. It can be different cities, nature, or artistic images and pictures. 

Go to a museum or a gallery and enjoy the visual art presented there. 

Watch a movie that is famous for its beautiful cinematography. Make sure that its story is something that will be easy for you to watch. 

Start a collection of pictures that you find pleasurable and soothing to look at, and look at them when needed. 

Sense of Hearing

Talk to a person that you like and whose voice makes you happy or you enjoy hearing. 

Listen to your favorite music that usually makes you more relaxed. 

Listen to soothing or instrumental live radio. 

You might also enjoy classical music, opera or new age music. 

Go to a park nearby and enjoy the liveliness of sounds around you (birds, wind, people chattering). 

If you play a musical instrument or sing in your free time, you can try to do that. 

Listen to an audio book, a podcast or a TV show that you enjoy and see if it makes you feel more relaxed. 

Sense of Smell

Wear a perfume or cologne whose smell you enjoy. 

Light up a scented candle in your room. 

Cook a meal that smells delicious to you. 

Buy some flowers or indoor plants that you would enjoy smelling. 

Hug a person you love whose smell makes you feel calm. 

Go someplace where you enjoy the scent. 

Sense of Taste

Cook your favorite meal, eat it slowly and savor its taste. 

Go to your favorite place to eat and buy your favorite meal. 

Get a snack or comfort food (chocolate, ice cream, potato chips) and enjoy it (but don't overdo it). 

Make yourself a cup of coffee, tea, cocoa or anything else that you enjoy drinking (avoid alcohol). 

Eat a fresh piece of fruit and enjoy its taste. 

Chew gum or eat some sweets. 

Sense of Touch

Take your favorite, soft blanket and wrap yourself or simply enjoy how it feels on your skin. 

Pet your animal and hold it in your lap. 

Wear comfortable clothes and enjoy how it feels on your skin. 

Take a shower or a bubble bath and enjoy the warm and soothing water. 

You can also take a cold shower if you find that more suitable. 

Get a massage or if you don't have the time, you can massage yourself. 

Touch something smooth, velvety or fluffy. 

Once you have figured out your preferred soothing techniques, (I suggest a list of 5 or 6 things) keep them handy so you can use them to more easily find relaxation, or the space to think more clearly. Although any of these activities may seem simple, they are useful. The nature of positive emotions and states is more subtle than the strong and upsetting negative emotions. Everyday gives us an opportunity to be gentle and practice experiencing returning to a more peaceful spot within us. Just remember, these are skills for you, and YOU deserve it!

Always rooting for you,

Pamela