Looking Within
The stories we tell ourselves often hold judgements and cycles of old habits and patterns. This is how we create the filters we see life. It is becoming more commonly understood that our brains are constantly changing with new information, this is called neuroplasticity… now it’s not as easily recognized that this happens regardless of the information being real or imaginary.
This lack of recognition between the two states reinforces that “if you can think of it, it is real”. Your imagination/visualization is a big time influencer over both of your physical and mental states. This is also why looking at your self-talk and mental dialogue is important. Brian Tracy says, “Whatever your mind dwells upon, grows into reality.”
It is from this place we create coping mechanisms. These are the strategies we often use in the face of stress and/or trauma to help us manage painful or difficult emotions. Coping mechanisms can help us adjust to stressful events while helping us maintain our emotional well-being. These are also, often, survival techniques that we unconsciously discovered in our childhood… and therefore keeping them in place no longer serves us.
First off, we get to be gentle with ourselves. We all have so much we’re working through, handling and juggling. Sometimes, we just need to take what we have and run with it. Other times, we need to use one coping mechanism to get to a place where we can resource a more healthy coping mechanism. Again, being kind with ourselves as we look at our processes of relating (or not) to reality is important. Perhaps doing it as if you are looking at your child or someone small that you care about, can help to ease the initial judgment of that “story”.
We may find ourselves taking risks, numbing out, escaping or doing unhealthy things to self-sooth. These aren’t the ideals, but again, as we retrain ourselves to our reality, we can begin to choose to look for support in other, more beneficial ways. Talking to others who you have an emotional connection to builds your support system. Catching your thoughts and allowing them to be seen distanced or separate from you, like a movie, can ease stress. Practicing meditation, using progressive muscle relaxation, listening to music or sitting in nature allows our bodies to tune in to our inner reality. As well as, getting moving and being active is also a great way to connect inside.
A great trick to keep in your back pocket is laughing… perhaps it’s at the situation, or, if you’re willing, it might even be at yourself! This can seem hard in the moment, but the more you practice it, the more space you are able to give yourself to see things clearly. It’s from this space that we can make decisions more easily, see our inner and outer world more clearly and begin different habits and patterns that bring more peace than judgment.
I look forward to continuing on the journey with you.
Always with you,
Pamela
