Leading Your Team
Being on a team is a powerful thing. As a raregiver, you need a team and for teams to function well they need a good leader–that’s YOU.
Team play was the topic of our Rare Family Dynamics Support Group today. Here are some tidbits of wisdom from our amazing community.
Communicate
Your family is a team and you need to communicate with them in order for things to flow. It can be challenging to engage in skillful communication consistently…especially with teenagers. And, you can learn how to do this.
When you have a Rare child and other Neurotypical children, you may find that the bulk of your brainpower is going to caring for your Rare child.
One of our participants shared that when her three Rare children were ill, she found herself withholding emotionally from her other two children. She thought in order to share with them, she had to find exactly the right time and she never found it. Withholding is very hard on relationships.
Relationships require ongoing communication. In order to know what there is to communicate takes awareness. There is a right time to communicate, and it is when you are present and calm. From here, you can tell the truth about what you’re feeling and what you see is needed
It can be very helpful for children to understand what is happening with their parents. And on the days when you are at your limit, it's good to let them know you’re feeling stretched. However, It is best not to lean on them for emotional support.
Ways to contribute to your TEAM:
Play your part fully
Take turns in your partnership, support one another
Use your extended team, friends and community members to get you out of your house when you need it
Be aware, tune in and listen to what you need
Acknowledge when you “just don't want to.” Have you ever thought to yourself, "Is there a return policy on this whole parenting thing?”
Delegate, delegate, delegate
Receive
In order for your life to be sustainable, you need to accept and receive the fact that you can't do everything by yourself and that's OK. Allow yourself to have downtime to be quiet and rest.
Beware of the impulse to "just handle it." You will find yourself burned out and exhausted quickly if you do everything alone.
Give yourself permission to ask for help.
Remember, people like to help. It makes them feel useful.
Slow down to receive what you are already doing
If you or someone who cooks for different meals every night because all of your kids have different sensitivities like, one kid can't handle the smells and another can't handle textures and another is gluten, free, etc., it is a good idea to receive that you or someone who is essentially acting as a short order cook every single night.
Acknowledgment and appreciation
Acknowledging and appreciating yourself, and the members of your team is the special sauce that will keep your team in good working order. People like to feel appreciated, and in fact they need it. And so to you.
Pause, slow down and say, "I did it!" Because you did. Being a cheerleader is one of the primary qualities of being a good leader. So begin with yourself, be a leader of yourself and venture out from there.
Coming up this week: The nourishment of being seen and heard
As a Rare caregiver, you are the leader of a team of people who support you and your Rare family. In this session, we will discuss what it takes to foster healthy relationships with the professionals and other family members who are on your team. What are the skills that you need to be a good leader? Communicating with the people who also love your Rare child requires presence, acknowledgement and diplomacy. What works for you? Where do you struggle? Please bring your wisdom and your questions. This is certain to be a rich discussion where you will leave with practical tools that can be readily applied to your life.
Join Us
You may not realize how much you need the Angel Aid community until you find it.
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We look forward to being with you soon.
