Forgive + Be Free
We had a powerful conversation this week about forgiveness in our Rare Mothers in Relationship Workshop. We looked at what supports forgiveness and what gets in the way. We also explored how true forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself.
The faster you can forgive, the more space you will feel inside. This is not to say that you bypass your feelings, rather you lean in and feel them so that there is room in your heart to be generous and forgive.
Forgiveness is a salve for the heart. It creates connection where there is separation and then invites openness where there is contraction.
We talked about how forgiveness can sometimes be a kind of selling out. When you forgive others for things that are actually not working for you at a deep level, you betray yourself. The truth is, Rare Mothers have needs like being loved, accepted and held..
You Have Needs
You are allowed to have needs and the fact is you are doing everything you can do for your Rare child. It can be easy to get burned out when you are hard on yourself and allow the inner critic to take over. In these moments, be gentle with yourself and engage in positive self talk.
Acknowledge yourself rather than beating yourself up or thinking, “I should be doing more for my child.“
Forgive the Inner Critic?
It is also possible to forgive the inner critic, it has a positive intention and yet for many of us, it takes charge far too often. When you can forgive quickly it is as though you are scattering rose petals of goodness. Perhaps you could think of these as soft petals of appreciation.
In your relationship you might choose to forgive your partner for not being able to support you in the way you would like to be supported. Trust that they are doing their best.
When we don’t forgive each other, our interaction may turn into an unproductive ping-pong match where we throw our charged feelings around.
Forgive Yourself
You have a choice to practice self-forgiveness. Forgive yourself and appreciate what you are able to give your child and family. Appreciate and acknowledge the many ways that you show up.
Coming Up This Week: Vulnerability
As a Rare Mother, you are very familiar with vulnerability. Each day contains many moments of tender vulnerability for you and your family. When you share your tenderness and show the parts of you that may feel unworthy, this invites intimacy. Sharing our hearts allows us to heal.
Join us
Our next meeting is on Tuesday at 10 AM PST. We would love to have you there. Being together in this way is an opportunity for you to share your heart and have authentic connections with other Rare Mothers who know what your life is like and understand you.
Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.
Zoom Link:
I look forward to being with you soon. Have a lovely weekend.
With Blessings
Padma
