Filling Your Cup
We had a wonderfully robust session this week in our Rare Family Dynamics group. We explored how to stay connected to yourself as you tend to your Rare child. We looked at what it means to be internally or externally located with regards to where you put your attention.
Ideally, you keep 50% of your attention on yourself as you relate to others, and as you take care of your Rare family. When you do this, you create sustainability in your life which supports your own physical and mental well-being.
Being Internally located
When you're in yourself, as you relate to medical professionals, this gives you access to your intuitive knowing. This is important, because as a raregiver, you know your child better than anyone.
Fill your cup
It may be helpful to imagine that you are filling your cup as though there is a fountain flowing into you and out of you at the same time so you have plenty to give. Energy is continuously pouring in and out.
You can fill your cup by doing things that bring you joy.
Make a JOY list
This can be a great thing to do when you are living a life of medical complexity. It's important to think of yourself, and to do things that you love. Ask yourself, "What do I love?”
Some things that might bring you joy:
Rom Coms
Daily walks
Fresh flowers
Hot baths
Listening to music
Stretching in the morning
I invite you to make your own list, print it out, and reference it often. You can also do things to make your life easier when you have a day of doctors’ appointments. Do something to take care of yourself like getting takeout so you don't have to cook dinner.
Quiet time
Remember to take some quiet time every day, even if it's just a few minutes. Often, when you get quiet, you will notice what you need.. Being quiet gives rise to a sustainable lifestyle.
Doing versus Being
Remember that you are a human being and that it's important to feed yourself on a Being level. And your to-do list will be long. Most likely you will never be able to do all of it and that's OK. The essential things will get done.
Pausing
The practice of pausing can be helpful to cultivate Being. Allow yourself to slow down. Perhaps you set a timer to go off once every hour to remind you to pause.
When you pause, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. This is an opportunity for you to reorient to yourself and see what you need. It may be as simple as a drink of water, food, or two minutes of gentle stretching.
Schedule yourself in
You might be one of those people who does better with self-care when your life feels like a train wreck. And then, when your life levels out, you forget about yourself.
Plan your self-care. When you feed yourself by nourishing your body and soul, your nervous system will be regulated and you can act from a place of calm.
Coming up this week Anticipatory Grief: Giving Yourself Permission to Feel
On your journey as a raregiver, you will eventually grapple with how to cope with the end of your beloved child’s life. This may involve grieving while still caring for them. This experience is called anticipatory grief and can last for several years. Receiving compassionate emotional support and giving yourself permission to feel during this time is essential. And, finding time to discuss the journey of death and dying with others will help lessen your burden. Please join us for a tender-hearted conversation.
You belong here
As a Raregiver, you belong here. We gather from across the world to support each other. You are not alone. Come as you are.
Your presence is a contribution.
#Zoom Link: Click Here
Looking forward to being with you,
Padma
#self-care
