Being Vulnerable

Our Rare Family Dynamics support group continues to deepen each week as we source community wisdom. You are invited to join us and share what is alive in your heart. Come and be nourished.

This week our dialogue centered around vulnerability. Vulnerability has the potential to draw out our strength. And yet, when we feel vulnerable our worrying self can become activated.

 As a raregiver, you are familiar with vulnerability. You experience it every day. And, it is useful to remember that vulnerability is at the core of being human.

Inherent vulnerability

One of our participants' Rare child was having dental work during our meeting. He was going to receive general anesthesia which is inherently risky in the case of a Rare child. Medical procedures often bring up an intense feeling of vulnerability.

Self-protection

At times you may armor against vulnerability in order to protect yourself. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable means feelings will penetrate your heart which can be painful and you might feel like putting up a wall. There’s a difference between walls and boundaries. Walls keep people or things out and they also create a barrier between you and your heart. Boundaries serve the same function and it is possible to set a boundary while keeping your heart open. 

Boundaries

Going to doctors can make you feel very vulnerable especially if they proclaim that a certain procedure is going to be “very complicated” and add that “the recovery will be long and challenging.” It can be terrifying to hear this and it may serve you to set a boundary. Acknowledge what they say and engage in a positive mindset where you don’t deny what they’ve said and you stay open to the best possible outcome.

Educate

You may choose to educate your medical professionals and others in your life. Invite them to encourage you and acknowledge the challenges that may lie ahead. If someone offers you a limiting belief, you do not need to accept it and make it your own.

The reality is that your kid will get heavier and their skills likely won’t increase. However, what does increase is your capacity to show up and be with them and meet whatever appears. As your internal skills deepen, you have more options.

Make a U-turn

The wise meditation teacher, Tara Brach talks about making a U-turn as a way of shifting your experience in a challenging moment.

It works like this. If you are having a rough moment with your partner where you are becoming critical and judgmental, you can interrupt this pattern. Slow down, look around and make a new choice. You might need to walk out of the room and go do something for yourself like taking a walk, folding your laundry or putting on music and dancing for five minutes. As a raregiver, it serves you to gather a toolkit of self-care practices. These will sustain you over time.

Coming up this week: Adjusting to the diagnosis & becoming the expert/advocate

Becoming a member of a Rare Family begins with receiving a diagnosis and has many stages along the way. Many feelings will arise as your life shifts and you become the resident expert on your child’s Rare disease. Come share how you advocate for your Rare child and what you’ve learned. Please join us for a potent conversation.

You Belong Here

This group is open to all raregivers regardless of gender or relationship status. Join our amazing community of raregivers who get you. Come be seen, heard and deeply understood. Let the community hold you. We meet on Tuesdays at 10am PT. Come for all or a portion of the session. 

Come as you are. Your presence is a contribution.

Zoom Link: Click Here

We look forward to being with you soon.

Warmly,

Padma